Secrets and friends
by MindRamble
Summary: Cordano. Nice reviews equals more stories, so you only have yourselves to blame.
1. Default Chapter

Note:  I have a little confession to make.  There are actually about ten stories sitting on my hard drive, all in various stages of development.  I seemed to be unable to concentrate on only one at a time, which means all are being written concurrently.  Therefore, please bear with me as I have a horrible feeling all of them (first chapters at least) are going to get posted before numero uno is finished.

Just a teaser - I really enjoyed writing the last chapter and epilogue.  Unfortunately, there are a couple of chapters in the middle that aren't finished so I can't post the whole thing yet. Hee hee.

Disclaimer: I'm glad I don't own any of the characters. I have enough responsibility in my life as it is. Apologies for any unintended infringements, yada, yada. Should also mention that anything vaguely medical or related to US culture/society is based solely on artistic license - if it fits, its in. 

Summary: Started with a clean slate - there is no stupid helicopter accident, ever.  Mark's dead, Elizabeth comes back from UK, Romano's still the head honcho.  This is more about their changing relationship after Elizabeth is allowed to see the real Romano.

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CHAPTER ONE

"No, I don't care!" Dr Robert Romano snapped out before pushing opening the double doors and sweeping through them.

Elizabeth was left looking at his disappearing figure, wondering once again what had brought on this particular bad mood.  Being closer to him than others, she had begun to notice that recently Robert was considerably quieter.  It wasn't a good quiet though, as it did not bring with it a welcome relief from his acerbic attitude.  Robert seemed to be brooding about something, keeping it deep inside, letting it fester and simmer.  She knew that it couldn't last and eventually whatever was bothering him was going to cause him to explode.  It was going to be ugly, she just knew it.  Telltale signs from the intensity the verbal lashings he had dealt out so far more than confirmed her hypothesis.  She was worried for him, worried for those around them, but most of all scared that he was going to hurt himself more than others this time.

Elizabeth had tried several times to talk to him, get him to open up so she would have some idea of what was going on.  Each time her shot her down, not unkindly as she would have expected but still he rejected the overtures.  Elizabeth was continually wondering why she even bothered but knew deep in her heart that she owed him.  Robert Romano did have a heart, a soul, and he did care for those around him.  Maybe she was the only one to see this because she had been on the receiving end more than once.  Mark and his tumor, Ella and the ecstasy, the string of post-op deaths and subsequent investigation.

He had welcomed her back with open arms and giving her the support to get her life back on track. He didn't make it any easier than he would have done for anyone else though and that's what she was the most grateful for.  He had believed she could do it on her own.  Mark may have died but she's still the same person - strong, smart and independent.  She had glimpsed the faith he had in her at Mark's funeral, delivering his quiet reassurance that he would keep her post open until she felt it was time to return.  He knew she would come back eventually.  They had kept in touch while she was in England, his witty e-mail commentary on life at County always made her laugh.  Since she had rejoined County, they had returned to their old habits with snarky banter across the operating table and a certain complicity when it came to their colleagues.

Essentially, Robert had always been there for her, supporting her and never asking for anything in return or recognition.  She hated to admit it but he was her rock, the one constant, the one person she knew who would catch her every time she fell.  He knew this too but never once had he tried to take advantage of his precious position.  However, something had changed.  It was almost as if their relationship had matured into more of a close friendship than boss/subordinate dynamic.  They were each other's confidents, testing ideas and opinions and knowing they would get an honest answer.  Despite all this though, Robert Romano was still something of a mystery to her, his deep secrets carefully locked away from prying eyes. 

Three hours later, Elizabeth passed by Robert's office and was almost run down by a well-dressed man as he stormed out of the door.

"Its your decision Dr Romano, but I'd suggest you reconsider before its too late!" the man snapped out before he walked away.

Elizabeth watched the man disappear and turned back to look at the open office door.  Against her better judgment, she knocked and walked straight in.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing!" Robert snapped.

"Look, we are getting pretty tired of this.  Its obviously not nothing."

"So, it's not nothing and it doesn't matter.  Is that better?  How about it's got nothing to do with the hospital, its personal."

"Well, that's just as important, especially when it's beginning to affect your work."

"Excuse me?!  Affect my work how?  Can you honestly say I have ever put a patient's life at risk just because I've been in a bad mood?" he demanded angrily.

Elizabeth sighed and closed the office door behind her.  The whole hospital did not need to hear this conversation.

"Of course not, Robert.  I was talking about your working relationship with you colleagues.  No, don't tell me you don't give a damn about that because I know you do."

"Certain people perhaps," he conceded in a much calmer tone.  Elizabeth always had that effect on him.  He watched with some amusement as she walked over to his couch and made herself comfortable.  His eyes narrowed when she started to scrutinize his appearance and he could tell she didn't like what she saw.

Elizabeth knows he's angry and knows it's not with work.  Dragging personal information out of this man required time and patience so she just sat there, watching him, patiently.  Predictably, Robert cracked first, sighing as he ran his hands tiredly over his face.  Elizabeth can plainly see now how exhausted he was, his skin paler than usual with dark lines around eyes.

"Robert," she prompted him softly.

He looked up, defeated but grateful.

"Thanks for the concern but I just need time to think."

"Perhaps you should go home and do that because you look absolutely awful," Elizabeth suggested honestly.

"Why Lizzie, that's quite possibly the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" Robert retorted sarcastically.

Elizabeth gave him one of her looks, reserved just for him so he knew when she was only humoring him.

"If you're sure?" she offered, giving him one last chance to talk about whatever was bothering him.

"Yes, I'm sure," Robert replied firmly.

"OK, if you won't talk, at least get some rest," she stated and quickly left his office so he couldn't answer back.  Childish but it worked.  Only very rarely would he race after her to have the final word.

An hour later, Robert knocked on her open office door. With his coat on and briefcase in hand, he was obviously on his way home.  What was strange was that it was not even mid afternoon.

"Yes, yes.  I'm taking your advice for once," he confirmed when she started to grin smugly.

"I'll try to hide my excessive joy."

"That I'm leaving or that I followed your advice?"

"You pick, Robert, but either way, I win."

"No actually you don't because my leaving you in the lurch means you inherit my surgeries planned for this afternoon."

"What?  I was going to spend that clearing all this paperwork you shoved my way!"

"Are or are you not Associate Chief of Surgery?  Yes, you are!  This is what you are supposed to do."

"I hate you, Robert."

"I know but thanks anyway," Robert shot back and then turned to leave.

"Robert!" Elizabeth called out quickly.

"Yeah?"

"Don't do anything stupid, just get some rest. Please."

Robert snorted at the hasty request.

"Your faith in me is very touching, Lizzie," he threw over his shoulder as he walked away.

Elizabeth looked down at her desk and the piles of papers, but couldn't help grinning.  Robert Romano had actually listened to her.


	2. 2

Disclaimer: I'm glad I don't own any of the characters. I have enough responsibility in my life as it is. Apologies for any unintended infringements, yada, yada. Should also mention that anything vaguely medical or related to US culture/society is based solely on artistic license - if it fits, its in. 

Summary: Started with a clean slate - there is no stupid helicopter accident, ever.  Mark's dead, Elizabeth comes back from UK, Romano's still the head honcho.  This is more about their changing relationship after Elizabeth is allowed to see the real Romano.

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CHAPTER TWO

Elizabeth had one foot on the stairs to go to bed when she heard someone knock on her front door. Looking though peephole, she saw Robert standing on her porch, trying to blend into the shadows.

She swung the door open immediately, flooding the porch with artificial light from the hallway. Robert winced as he was momentarily blinded.

"Robert, what are you doing here?  Come in!"

Robert shuffled through the doorway but refused to meet her gaze.

"Are you all right?" she asked concerned.

Looking down at the ground, Robert sighed and mumbled,

"Remember you told me not to do anything stupid?"

Elizabeth groaned loudly.

"What did you do?"

Robert held up his left wrist wrapped in tea towel filled with ice, grinning like a naughty schoolboy.  

Elizabeth's eyes widened as she took in the sight.  Without hesitation, she dragged him by his good arm into the kitchen and pushed him down into one of the chairs.

She unwrapped his wrist in silence, displaying the swollen and distorted by joint.

"What happened?"

"Nothing much. I had a little disagreement with a wall.  You should see the other guy."

"Laughing his head off at the irresponsible surgeon no doubt.  Why did you hit a wall?"

Robert just shrugged his shoulders and then winced when Elizabeth touched a sensitive spot.

"I'd say the bone is broken. You'll need to go to ER for an x-ray for confirmation though."

Robert slumped in his seat.

"I was relying on you not to say that.  I had hoped it was just sprained or something so I could avoid going to that cesspit."

"Tough.  You're going.  Put the ice back on while I get my things," Elizabeth ordered.

"You don't need to come with me.  I can get there myself.  Besides, you can't leave Ella alone."

"Its really not your night, Robert.  Ella's sleeping over at a friend's house for her very first slumber party," Elizabeth revealed cheerfully.

"Hang on, just how did you get here in the first place?  You drove didn't you?" she demanded suddenly.

Robert had the grace to look sheepish, "It wasn't that hard."

"Stay there.  I'll be back down in a few minutes," she snapped with a glare.

Robert was waiting by front door when she jogged back down.

"I'm serious.  I don't need an escort."

"Oh, I beg to differ, Romano.  Get moving before I get out Ella's plastering set."

Robert had parked his Jag behind Elizabeth's van, which made it logical to take his car.

"Keys," Elizabeth demanded, holding out her hand expectantly.

"No way! You are not driving my Jag.  I'll call a cab."

"Just hand them over or we're going to be here all night."

"If you scratch it, you'll pay," he warned as he reluctantly gave her the keys.

"Yes, Robert," Elizabeth replied in the most patronizing tone she could.

They arrived at County without incident and Elizabeth could have sworn Robert gave a sigh of relief when she parked in his spot.

Jerry looked up surprised to see the two surgeons when they both meant to be off duty.  He didn't think he'd ever seen Dr Romano dressed in anything than a suit and scrubs.  The jeans and Columbia sweatshirt were a bit of a shock. He raised his eyebrows but didn't comment as it was not considered wise to draw Romano's attention unnecessarily.

Elizabeth dragged Robert up to the admit desk, holding him in place.

"Hi Jerry!  I've got another customer for you," she announced.

Jerry looked between the two of them before gleefully picking up new chart and asking the appropriate questions. When Robert refused to play along, Elizabeth provided all the answers, exaggerating his weight and age while knocking off a few inches from his height.

Finishing off with a flourish, Jerry cheerfully informed them that they were in luck.  As it was a slow night, a doctor can see them straight away.  Robert grunted and followed Elizabeth to the designated treatment room.

"Did you really have to do that?" he grumbled.

"Yes.  You came to me for help so I get carte blanche."

Two x-rays later and a broken wrist was confirmed.  It was a clean break luckily and should be as good as new in a several weeks.  Of course, Robert was required to wear a cast for at least three of them and there was nothing being Chief of Staff could do about that.  Dr Susan Lewis said so, backed up by Elizabeth Corday.  The two women were greatly enjoying the situation, teasing the patient endlessly.

"You know, with these budget cuts, we only have pink left," Susan commented as she left to fetch the required materials.

"You know, I'm right handed so I can still sign your termination papers," Robert retorted after her.

Elizabeth patted him on the shoulder patronizingly as he complained at the length of time it was taking Susan to put on the cast.

"I'll just go and get your pain meds," Susan offered, leaving the two surgeons alone.

Elizabeth took her place in front of Robert.

"So?" she asked softly, determined to get to the bottom of this latest crisis.

Robert looked up from where he was picking at the new blue cast.  He knew he owed his friend an answer but not in such a public place.

"Not here.  I'll tell you later," he promised.

Elizabeth nodded in acceptance.

They ended back at Robert's house, too wired to go to bed.  After pampering Gretel, Robert's sweet but large dog, Elizabeth helped make some tea and they took their drinks into his study.  She'd been to his house several times so knew her way around the ground floor quite well.  The size of the place and how homely it felt still amazed her considering there was just one workaholic surgeon and his dog living there.

Robert paced around the room in silence, obviously trying to think of the best way to get his troubles of his chest.  Elizabeth flipped through a medical journal patiently, giving him all the time he needed.  Gretel had been fed, watered and let outside and was currently lying on her soft cushion, her eyes tracking her master's every step.

"My father wants to see me," Robert said into the silence as he stared out of the French windows that opened into the garden.


	3. 3

Disclaimer: I'm glad I don't own any of the characters. I have enough responsibility in my life as it is. Apologies for any unintended infringements, yada, yada. Should also mention that anything vaguely medical or related to US culture/society is based solely on artistic license - if it fits, its in. 

Summary: Started with a clean slate - there is no stupid helicopter accident, ever.  Mark's dead, Elizabeth comes back from UK, Romano's still the head honcho.  This is more about their changing relationship after Elizabeth is allowed to see the real Romano.

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CHAPTER THREE

Elizabeth didn't know what to say and guessed Robert wasn't expecting a reply.

"You don't have any brothers or sisters do you?" Robert asked abruptly, turning to face her.

"No.  My father jokes that I was more than enough work."

"I had two sisters.  Twins, older than me, annoying as hell but they were mine."

Elizabeth swallowed unsteadily, not sure if she really wants to hear this story.

"Hannah and Holly, identical in every way.  Smart, beautiful and kind.  They took after our mother.  You don't realize what you have until you've lost it," Robert stated.  He knew Elizabeth understood that better than anyone.

"What happened?" she dared to ask.

"Your worst nightmare.  Bet you didn't know my name's not really Romano.  I just took my mother's maiden name afterwards.  My father was the eminent psychologist Richard O'Swanson.  Don't worry if you've never heard of him, I imagine the national psychology society have done their best to hide anything to do with the man.  We haven't spoken since I was fifteen."

Elizabeth was about to point out the discrepancy between referring to his father in the present and then the past but closed her mouth.  Robert didn't make mistakes like that.  There had to be a reason so she should just be patient.

"I was born and raised in Los Angeles, had a perfect life with a successful, loving family.  Then my father had affair with one of his patients who, up until then, didn't show any signs of psychopathic tendencies.  That is, up until she decided the great Richard O'Swanson was meant to be hers," Robert recounted bitterly as he traced an invisible pattern on the window.

"I had just turned twelve and was staying overnight at a friend's house.  I don't remember why, probably a birthday.  My parents and sisters were spending the weekend at our beach house.  Sometime during dinner on Saturday, my father received a call, a patient emergency, and had to get back to city.  Turns out it was the woman he had affair with and she was demanding to see him.  If he refused, she threatened to tell all about their little affair, which would ruin his marriage and career.  So he left to meet her.  One problem though, she wasn't waiting for him in LA.  No, she was hiding near by, lying in wait until father left. Then, she calmly walked into house through the backdoor.  The police suppose she must have surprised mom and the girls in living room where they were watching TV.  She shot all three in head with handgun.  They died instantly, at least that's what the coroner said," Robert said darkly.

Elizabeth could see his empty expression reflected in the window and could tell that his memories had taken him somewhere else.  She remained silent, not knowing if anything she said would comfort or penetrate.

"Father waited for an hour at the meeting point but returned to the beach house when it was clear she wasn't going to show. He arrived at the house and was greeted by his lover as any woman might greet their loving husband. We only have his statement about what happened next but essentially he demanded to know what she was doing there and where his family was. I imagine the fear really started when his new 'wife' replied that everything was fine and that they can be together now.  As any normal person would do, he searched house for his beloved family.  She had kindly placed the bodies neatly in kitchen, ready to be removed.  Father said he desperately checked for signs of life but knew it was pointless when he saw the bullet wounds.  Then he managed to lock his 'wife' in the laundry room while he called the police."

"I should have guessed something was going on when my grandfather turned up to collect me instead of Mom.  I didn't understand why he was sad, I kept telling him jokes but he never laughed.  Hardly said a word, not even to explain why we drove to the town house and not the beach.  Before we got out of the car, he turned to me and said 'you have to be strong, Robert'. Then, I knew something was wrong so I ran into the house, looking for Mom but she wasn't there.  Nobody was.  I checked the whole place.  Still, he wouldn't tell me.  I remembering hearing a car pull up and I ran outside, hoping it would be her.  It wasn't though.  It was a police car bringing my father and grandmother home.  That's when my personal nightmare started," Robert whispered as he leant his forehead against the cool glass pane.

He startled all of them when he jerked back suddenly.  He looked down at his cup of tea and took an experimental sip.  While he had told his sad tale, his drink had gone lukewarm.  With a grimace, he set the mug down on the corner of his desk.

It was only then that he dared look at Elizabeth and received a watery but encouraging smile in return.  She hadn't moved from her place on the couch, simply curling into the corner and tucking her legs up.

"I'm so sorry, Robert.  I can't even begin to imagine how devastating that must have been," she said softly.

"No, not many people can.  That's why I don't actually tell anyone.  I can't stand the pity or the awkwardness that follows."

"What happened afterwards?  I mean, why don't you and your father speak to each other?"

Robert made to put both hands in his pockets before he remembered the cast and sent his guest a rueful glance at the aborted attempt.

"I can't actually remember much after father arrived apart from the usual periods of denial and anger.  The funerals are a complete blur.  Father was re-questioned by the police and finally admitted to the affair and explained why he had left the beach house.  As he didn't actually do anything illegal except withhold information, he wasn't charged with anything.  Besides, the prosecutors' thought he'd been punished enough.  However, given his position, there was lots of media attention and he and my grandparents thought it best that I was protected from all that.  Apparently, I didn't need to know all the gory details so they sent me to stay with my maternal grandparents here, in Chicago.  In fact, in this very house," Robert added.

Elizabeth looked around the room, trying to imagine a young Robert living there.

"I was a stubborn bastard even then though.  I knew they were hiding something from me and was determined to find out what it was, especially if it explained why my mother and sisters were dead.  It's truly amazing how well organized and diverse the local library was, even then.  I managed to get hold of all the LA newspapers and learn all about father's sordid affair, the reason why they were killed and how.  Even when my father was stripped of his medical license and ruined.  All the while, my family pretended nothing was happening, continued to lie to me," Robert spat out angrily.

"Sorry," he offered lamely when he had gotten a hold on his emotions. "As you can imagine, my relationship with my father deteriorated from then on.  I blamed him for their murders and ruining my perfect life.  Father was an easy target.  Worse still, he never denied that he was to blame, actually admitted once.  It got to the stage where I refused to have anything more to do with him. I hated the man. Still do to an extent."

"In the end, everyone agreed that I should live with my maternal grandparents, away from LA.  So I did until I left for college.  I grew up hating father and that never changed.  I haven't spoken to him since I was fifteen and some god-awful attempt at reconciliation.  I just couldn't get past what he had done, indirectly or directly.  All I could see that that my father's professional life and indiscretion was responsible for allowing a psychopath to destroy my family."

Now Elizabeth understood why Robert behaved like he did.  Based on his father's poor example, he never let his professional life touch his private life.  That's why nobody he ever works with knows anything about Robert on personal level.  He keeps them all out, makes sure people want nothing to do with him than is absolutely necessary at work.  He deliberately drives people to hate him so he can't be hurt in return.  This enlightenment strengthened her resolve to prove to Robert it didn't have to be like that.  Besides, hadn't he had already broken his rule with their friendship?

Robert turned back from window and slumped on couch, head back and eyes closed.

"And now he wants to talk to me, face to face."

"Do you know why?"

"The lawyer said he's dying so he wants to get some closure," Robert mocked.

"I'm sorry."

"Not half as much as I am," Robert replied scornfully.  "So now you know it all, yet you're still here," he mused.

"Why wouldn't I be here?"

"You don't think I should have made it easier on him?  Forgiven him years ago?"

"That's not important.  Its what you felt that matters.  Obviously, the deaths of your sisters and mother were very traumatic which is understandable.  I think anyone would blame your father to an extent but after that, we really don't have any right to condemn him.  Only you do."

"You're the first one to say that, you know.  My grandparents, the paternal ones, didn't stop to plead his case.  Said it wasn't fair of me to deprive him of his sole surviving family member.  Of course, my maternal ones were 100% behind me.  They blamed my father more than I did.  Mom was an only child."

"Do you have any pictures?"

"Pictures?"

"Yes, of your sisters and mother."

Thrown for a moment, Robert processed the request.

"Sure.  I have all the albums.  I didn't think he had any right to them.  Wait here," Robert said and left the room. Gretel got up to follow but obediently returned to her bed when commanded to stay.

He was back a few minutes later, his arms full of photo albums.

"Mom was a bit of a fanatic with the camera," he apologized as he gently placed the volumes on the coffee table in front of Elizabeth.

Elizabeth carefully organized the albums on the table.  Someone, she guessed Robert's mother, had taken the care to inscribe the time period covered by the contents on the front of each.

The first opened to wedding photos and Elizabeth came face to face with Robert's self conscious smile, only this time it was worn by his mother.  She was beautiful in an angelic way, with blond hair framing a delicate face.  Robert's father had obviously passed down his red hair to his son but that was all father and son seemed to share.  Soon after, the pages began to fill with baby photos and, given the fact there were always two children pictured, Elizabeth took them to be Robert's sisters.  Pages and pages were filled with memories of their first few years.  It wasn't until halfway through the second album that she came across the first picture with Robert.  He looked to be no more than a few weeks old, cradled gently by his adoring older sisters.

"Cute," she said and Robert smirked back.

"It just gets better," he retorted.


	4. 4

Disclaimer: I'm glad I don't own any of the characters. I have enough responsibility in my life as it is. Apologies for any unintended infringements, yada, yada. Should also mention that anything vaguely medical or related to US culture/society is based solely on artistic license - if it fits, it's in.

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CHAPTER FOUR

Robert hadn't been joking when he said his mother was a photo fanatic. There were hundreds of pictures capturing bath times, parties, school events. Each had a description and date. She raised her eyebrows at Robert's fourth birthday picture, where the birthday boy was showing off his trademark scowl over the candles.

"My sisters probably did something annoying," Robert explained. "It's not funny when your older sisters keep treating you like a baby in front of all your friends," he defended.

Elizabeth became absorbed in watching Robert grow up, surrounded by his sisters who grew more and more like their mother as the years progressed. It wasn't until later on that she noted there was something, or rather someone, missing. Judging by the lower proportion of photos of his father, Robert must have removed them.

She picked up the last album with some trepidation, knowing this one would contain the last memories that Robert had of his family.

"Go ahead," Robert encouraged when he saw her hesitate, "I know them all by heart."

As she reached the middle, a card fell out and she bent to pick it up. Robert made to snatch it out of her hand but he was too slow.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" she teased. After all the baby photos, surely he couldn't be embarrassed?

Turning away, she slowly opened the hand made birthday card.

"Dear Ginger Nut, Have a great twelfth birthday! Lots of love, your older and wiser sisters," Elizabeth read out loud. "Ginger Nut?" she queried, laughing at Robert's blush.

"They were blond, I wasn't. It was just a stupid nickname."

"Poor Robert! That must have been awful for you."

"Shut up, Lizzie, and if you ever call me that, I'm going to tell your mother why you were mysteriously called into surgery nearly every evening during her last visit."

"You wouldn't?! We had a deal! I bought you lunch all week for that."

"All deals are off if you call me that."

"What? Ginger Nut?"

Robert 'tsk tsk'd and leant over to pick up his phone.

"What's the dialing code for the UK again? Oh yes, 44."

"OK, OK. Not that you know my mother's telephone number anyway but I promise not to call you Ginger Nut. In public, that is."

"Anytime."

"Once a week."

"Never."

"Once a month."

"Never, Lizzie."

"Once a year! On my birthday, I can call you Ginger Nut. Consider it my present from you."

"Fine but not in public."

"Done."

Then it struck her, this card was given to him on his twelfth birthday. He was twelve when they were murdered. Robert watched her face drop as the realization of the card's significance set in.

"How long before they..."

"Three weeks," Robert answered quickly, saving her the trouble of asking the whole question.

Elizabeth looked back down at the card, holding it as if was the most precious thing in the world.

"I didn't keep the ones from the other years. I don't remember why, probably because they called me Ginger Nut. I guess I hadn't gotten around to throwing that one out when they died."

"They made you one each year?"

"Yes, it became the family ritual. It was a little unfair as I had to make two each time to their one."

"You loved them a lot, didn't you?"

"Yes.  My parents unconditionally, Hannah and Holly just as much when they weren't being so annoying."

"It's not fair."

"Very few things in this world are, Lizzie. You know that. I spent years asking why my family until I couldn't think of anything else. They made me see a psychologist after a while but my hostility towards that particular profession didn't make for very constructive therapy."

"And now it's starting all over again which would explain this," Elizabeth summarized and tapped his cast.

"You're pretty smart for a girl, you know?"

"Tell me, did you say those sorts of things to your sisters?"

"Yep."

"No wonder they annoyed you then."

"You're an only child so what would you know?"

"I know you well enough, Robert. It a natural human reaction when you're present."

Robert simply snorted in reply, not being able to come up with a suitable response in his current frame of mind.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I really don't. On the one hand, I want nothing to do with him. On the other, I'm torn between giving in and forgiving him or going to share exactly what I think of him. What am I supposed to do? My father, the one who had a fling with a psychotic patient who subsequently murdered my mother and sisters, is dying and wants me to give him absolution. Jeez, I'm not the most generous person at the best of times but this?"

"What would you do?" he asked bluntly.

Elizabeth just shook her head and refused to answer.

"Not very helpful, Dr Corday."

"Robert, I can't tell you what to do, you know that."

"Yeah, I know," Robert admitted and then yawned widely. "Sorry, I haven't talked about all this for sometime."

"Not to mention those happy little pills you took about two hours ago. You should go to bed," she suggested motherly. Robert was already half asleep, she could see it from the other end of the couch.

"Hmm," he murmured.

"Robert, go to bed!" she said louder, kicking his leg hard enough to rouse him.

"Hey! I'll set Gretel on you if you're not careful."

"That I'd like to see. Go, To. Bed."

"Fine. How are you going to get home?"

"In the Jag. I've developed quite a taste for driving it. Besides, you're not going to need it, are you?" she said, looking pointedly at his cast.

"I'll report it stolen before you're even out of the drive," he rejoined. "You know, there is plenty of room here. I promise to behave."

"Robert Romano and good behavior? I'm not sure, it just doesn't sound right."

Robert feigned injury and then brightened, "Would it help if you could lock the door?"

"I don't think it will be necessary. Personally, considering the meds you've taken, I'd be more worried about what I'm going to do while you sleep," Elizabeth teased.

All she received in response was a soft snore.

"Robert, wake up!" she said shaking him before it really was too late to get him upstairs.

"G'wray," he said feebly, trying to push her away.

"No, up you get," Elizabeth said sternly, pulling him to his feet.

Helping an exhausted Robert Romano up a flight of stairs was an adventure not detailed in her job description. She couldn't but help giggle when they both fell flat on his bed. That was as far as Robert managed because there was no waking him from then on. Elizabeth simply pulled of his shoes and covered him with a duvet from one of the other rooms, making sure his injured wrist was elevated on a spare pillow. 

Elizabeth sat on the bed watching him sleep for a few moments, his face clear of any worries or stress. She wondered how he would have turned out had his mother and sisters lived and felt angry that they had been deprived of the opportunity to find out. She didn't pity Robert, he would hate that. Instead, she was so much closer to understanding who he really was and was immensely grateful that she was the one with whom he had chosen to share his deepest secrets. She tried to ignore the fact that she really didn't have much competition.

Instinctively, she leant down and softly placed a light kiss on his stubbled cheek.

"Goodnight, Ginger Nut," she whispered and left the room.

Elizabeth investigated the other rooms on the floor and found another bedroom with its own bathroom. A quick inspection of the closets in the hall turned up some spare pajamas, towels and toiletries. She was surprised that she didn't feel awkward rifling through Robert's things when he was sleeping a few feet away.

After a quick shower, Elizabeth collapsed into the bed and joined the two other occupants of the house in sleep.

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Just a quick but heartfelt thanks for all the reviews, for this story and the other two.

Tv-crazy – you're the reason I finally decided to post them.

On a slightly less fun note, I doubt I'm going to able to update until the end of March due to an insane workload.

Take care.

S.


	5. 5

I am very, very sorry for the delay – usual excuses so I won't bore you with them.  Coming up to a lull in 'real' life so I should be able to work on the stories for a while.

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CHAPTER FIVE

Elizabeth strained to hear signs that her daughter was awake before she remembered where she was.  Her watch told her that Ella had her mother's internal clock very well trained.  Knowing she didn't have to get up straight away, Elizabeth indulged a few minutes of sleepy contemplation.  Robert was foremost in her thoughts of course, his sad tale adding yet another dimension to a very complex man.  She also debated what he should do about his father.  As she had told him the previous evening, only Robert could make that decision but she fully understood why he was reaching out for someone else to tell him what to do.  She had done exactly the same thing when she found out Mark's tumor had returned and allowed Robert to guide her back into the arms of her dying husband.

Unable to come up with something which would help her friend, Elizabeth sighed sadly and listened carefully for sounds that Robert, or even Gretel, was up.  Accepting the ensuing silence as a 'no', she tiptoed down the corridor to his bedroom and eased open the door.

Robert was still fast asleep, snoring softly.  He had managed to kick off covers and roll over during the night, luckily onto his right side so his injured wrist was resting on his hip.  Elizabeth pulled the covers up before wordlessly leaving the room to shower and dress.

Gretel greeted her enthusiastically when she entered the kitchen and nudged her food bowl towards the gullible human.

"Hello Gretel.  Just what do you usually eat for breakfast?" Elizabeth wondered out loud and opened the cupboard where Robert stored the dog supplies.  Of course it was fully stocked with many flavors of the best food and treats unlike the fridge and human food supplies.  Shaking her head at Robert's eccentricities, she pulled down an open box of dried mix only to have Gretel whine sadly beside her.

"Ok, not that then.  How about some roasted lamb with vegetables?" Elizabeth suggested, receiving a muffled bark in response.

Gretel inhaled the breakfast while Elizabeth set about preparing her own.  Given that breakfast was the most regular meal Robert ate at home, she was unsurprised to find several jars of jam, chocolate spread and honey as well as packets of ready to bake bread.

The coffee had just finished gurgling through the machine when Robert stumbled into the kitchen.  Still dressed in his clothes from the day before, albeit rumpled after being slept in, he blindly made his way towards the coffee pot.  Elizabeth feared he was going to drink straight from the pot once he had coordinated his thoughts enough to yank it from the machine.  Instead, he carried it over to where she was sitting and neatly filled her waiting mug.  She winced as he swallowed the hot beverage in a few gulps, hoping another trip to the ER wouldn't be necessary.  Fortunately, Robert seemed to have a heat resistant mouth and throat and he heaved a sigh of relief as he opened his eyes properly.

"Good morning," Robert said affably as if his behavior was completely normal.

"Hello Robert," Elizabeth responded, trying not to laugh.  "Sleep well?"

"Yep.  What's for breakfast?"

"It's your house and I'm the guest.  Shouldn't I be asking that question?"

"You can ask but I can't guarantee a satisfactory answer."

"Toast and coffee."

"Good, I'll have some too."

When he simply pulled himself onto the stool opposite and leant on the counter, Elizabeth asked with false sweetness,

"Would you like me to get some for you?"

"Thanks!" her host retorted and reached for TV remote.

Elizabeth had her back to him as she collected his plate and another mug for herself but she clearly heard his question.

"Lizzie, why is Gretel eating her dinner for breakfast?  She usually has the dry mix in the morning.  Are you trying to kill my dog off?"

Elizabeth calmly turned back to face Robert, plate and knife in hand.

"She didn't want the mix!" she defended, glaring between the two Romanos.  Gretel at least had the grace to look guilty and ambled over to Robert for protection against punishment.

"Told you that, did she?" Robert asked mockingly as he comforted his pet.

Elizabeth knew he was teasing so she smirked back.

"Shut up Robert and eat your breakfast before I give that to Gretel too."

The next week was hell for everyone.  Despite having removed the great weight from his shoulders by telling Elizabeth about his family, Robert was still preoccupied with what to do next.  In addition, Robert's broken wrist meant he was stuck doing paperwork and irritating the hospital's administrative staff.

'All paperwork and no surgery, makes Robert a very annoying...what?' Elizabeth mused to herself as she was forced to listen to someone from the catering service complain about the chief of staff's unrealistic demands.  To be honest, the woman wasn't actually complaining to her specifically but more targeting the staff present. The look on Shirley's face merely read 'Been there, seen that, done that, had the nervous breakdown.  Just be lucky you don't have to work with him on a daily basis.'

"Dr Corday?" a voice asked, breaking her chain of thought.

"Yes?" she replied to Robert's assistant.

"Dr Romano would like to see all the patient charts for the last six months and for any outstanding notes to be completed as soon as possible," the woman said apologetically.

Elizabeth processed the request, picturing the piles of paper on her desk.  The enormity of the work involved to comply made her heart sink.

"When exactly would he like all that done by?"

"You know him, ASAP means within the next five minutes.  You're his doctor aren't you?  Surely you could order him to stay at home for the next few weeks?"

"I wish!  He's getting out of hand.  Look, consider the message duly passed on.  I'll go and sort this out myself," Elizabeth replied and set off for Robert Romano's office.

"Well done," Shirley said with relief to the harassed assistant.

"Robert, we've taken a vote and its unanimous. You are not to come back to work until you are cleared for surgery.  It is obvious all this extra time devoted to administration has completely gone to your head," Elizabeth stated clearly when she stormed into his office.

Robert had been in the process of signing his name but Elizabeth's abrupt announcement caused his pen to slide violently off the sheet.  He looked up at her irritated expression, down to the ruined form and then back up.

"I don't want to hear it," she said before he could voice his opinion on her behavior she could see forming behind the brown eyes.

"You got my message then?"

"Yes I did and you know what you can do with it."

"Really Lizzie!  I expect better of you than..." he broke off when Elizabeth placed her hands on the edge of his desk and leaned forward menacingly.  Instinctively, he leant back out of firing range, trying not to give in and break eye contact as that naughty little section of his mind told him to take advantage of the view.

"You do not need to be here.  If you are just trying to prove what a wonderful Chief of Staff you are, we got the point the first day.  Enough is enough, Robert!"

Robert carefully considered his options.  While he loved to see Elizabeth this worked up, there was a point where it became dangerous to provoke her.

"Was it unanimous that I'm a 'wonderful Chief of Staff' too or is that just your opinion?"

"Will you go away if we all agree you're wonderful?"

"I could be persuaded."

"Fine, you're wonderful, we all love you.  Now, go and don't return until that cast is off and you can act like a normal human being, or at least whatever passes for it where you are concerned."

"You know, I read in some brochure that it's not healthy for such aggressiveness in the workplace.  Seeing as I'm such a wonderful boss, maybe I should sign you up for their training program."

"I'd prefer kick boxing lessons.  Seriously, I know you're bored and frustrated but you are really going too far.  For everyone's sake, perhaps you should take some time off."

"Look what happened last time I did that," he said holding up his cast.

"Well, you still have another arm and now you know what to do when the big bad wall breaks it.  This time, forget the 'stop by Elizabeth's house' step though."

"You're all heart, you know that?"

"Grateful patients have mentioned it."

Robert bit back the snarky reply just in time.  Elizabeth had earned the right not to be hurt unnecessarily quite a long time ago. Her recent friendship and understanding had only confirmed that.  Robert also knew she was right.  When he could still escape to surgery, the administrative side of his job had never managed to get under his skin so much.  However, having to spend all day sorting out what he considered to mundane yet essential details was a revelation unto itself.  He knew he shouldn't be taking his boredom out on his staff but he didn't have any other outlet.  Besides, he still needed at least one working arm to perform day-to-day tasks.

"Robert?" Elizabeth prompted when she saw he had gone to his own little world.

"Perhaps...I've been thinking that I should see what my father really wants," Robert stated quietly without meeting her eyes.

"Do you want to?"

"Yes and no.  It doesn't change."

"But?"

"Oh you know! I'll probably regret not doing so for the rest of my life, blah, blah.  Seeing as I'm only getting in the way here I might as well take advantage of the situation," he rattled off with a wave of his working hand.

"I didn't say you were getting in the way, quite the opposite in fact," Elizabeth retorted with a smirk.

"Either way, Lizzie," Robert carried on regardless, "the fact is, I'm not wanted here but some wet and windy corner of Nova Scotia is calling me.  I don't really have a choice."

"Your father lives in Nova Scotia?  Won't it be a bit cold at this time of the year?"

"You're not helping, Corday!"

"Sorry, sorry," Elizabeth placated.  "So you're definitely going then?"

"Yes.  Go spread the good news but tell them to hold the celebrations until I'm out of the building."

"That'll be difficult!" Elizabeth mused out loud.

The following day, Elizabeth and Ella were sprawled out over the living room floor following an exhausting frenzy of Twister.  Elizabeth was still giggling when she answered the knock at the front door.  Robert stood on the porch, dressed in jeans and sweater and trying to ignore her wild hair and flushed cheeks.

"Not interrupting anything am I?" he asked with a mischievous glint.

"Not at all.  Ella was just allowing me to demonstrate how unfit I am.  Do you want to come in?"

"No, no.  It's just a courtesy call to let you know I'll be out of town for a few days."

"Nova Scotia?"

"Yeah. Probably need some closure too," he mocked himself.

Elizabeth ignored his defensive tone.

"Good, I hope you find what you're looking for.  Both of you."

"It would help if I actually knew what I was looking for.  Anyway, while I'm in this morose mood I thought I'd say thanks for everything.  You weren't obliged to sit through the whole sob story fiasco."

"You're right Robert, I wasn't obliged to.  As your friend, however, I wanted to and glad I did.  That's what friends are for after all," Elizabeth replied sincerely.

That earned her a rare Romano self-conscious smile, the one that told her he understood what she was saying and felt the same.  He just couldn't express such feelings in words.

"I'd better be going or I'll miss the weekly flight to Halifax International Airport, not to mention delay the three hour drive to Liverpool," Robert added for effect, knowing his British friend would appreciate the connection.

"Well, its not actually Liverpool itself but some small coastal village around there.  I have precise directions so don't worry about calling out search and rescue if you don't hear from me in a few days," he added glibly.

"And waste the unexpected respite?  I should think not!"

"You're very funny.  I'm going now before you hurt all my feelings," he shot back and turned to step off the porch but not before Elizabeth saw him smile.

"Robert!" Elizabeth called after him.

When he turned back, she asked,

"Call me when you get there?  If you need anything..."

When the telephone rang just after eight that evening, Elizabeth knew exactly who the caller was.

"Hello Robert," she answered knowingly.

The unexpected silence made her doubt her previous assumption.

"Hello?" she prompted again.

"Sorry, the flight and road trip from hell seem to have destroyed my ability for witty comebacks," Robert finally replied. "I think I'll just wallow in the satisfaction I get from knowing you were anxiously waiting by the phone for me to call."

"Either that or we can compare our lack of social lives."

"I'll let you know I have a very active and exciting social life."

"Let me clarify then.  Social interaction outside of the hospital and not related to medicine, surgery or any other professional topic."

"Oh, in that case, you got me there.  Don't you want the details of my delightful journey?"

"No, not really.  You've arrived, safely I assume, so that's enough.  How's the hotel?"

"What you'd expect for a coastal B&B - comfortable, homely, dull."

"Does your father know you're there?" Elizabeth asked in an attempt to avoid a lengthy diatribe.

"No, I wanted to give myself an out just in case I turn chicken at the last minute," Robert confessed honestly.

"So you're just going to turn up?"

"No, Lizzie," he said patiently, "I'll call tomorrow morning, drive over and get it done with as soon as possible."

"Nervous?"

"Now why would I be nervous? I didn't get to this stage in my life running away from all the little..."

"Robert, it's OK to be nervous or scared," Elizabeth interrupted calmly.

"Yeah, riiiiight.  God, I'm going to need serious therapy after this! You don't mind if I cut this short because I'm starving and I think the dining room here shuts at nine," Robert scoffed.

"Be nice, Robert.  I know you are capable."

"Of course I am.  Man of all situations."

"Goodnight Robert.  Call me."

"I will.  Lizzie, thanks.  It's nice to have someone to talk to," Robert said quickly and hung up before Elizabeth could reply.

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	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note - not new chapter

Dear all,

I am so extremely sorry for not updating the stories. I simply got off at the wrong stop on the RL mystery tour and ended up with a baby, mortgage and husband. Unfortunately, I've managed to misplace all the story outlines and non-published chapters and I don't have time to redo all the work. I'm still looking though but don't hold out much hope.

So, I formally declare open season on them - feel free to take and exploit.

Again, my apologies but I have more important things to do right now.

MR


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